Monday, January 3, 2011

Jesus vs Shirley MacLaine

Christians have no trouble dismissing Shirley MacLaine's hokum, but they seem completely blind to the thinness of the claims for Christianity.

Let's see how well they compare:

  • Jesus (supposedly) claimed to fulfill the historic prophesy of the Hebrews.
  • MacLaine's website points to the writings of known historical figures, and these people supposedly back up her claims. Unlike Jesus' prophets, MacLaine's list of luminaries includes people from various epochs, cultures, and walks of life. (Though, strangely, none of them was one of her prior selves)
  • Jesus' exploits are written down in four books called "The Gospels," which were most likely written 60-100 years after his death/resurrection.
  • Shirley MacLaine wrote eight books about herself (herselves?), and a few other people have written about her. She's also been interviewed dozens of times, and she wrote her own biography for her site. In fact, it's hard to shut her up. So she's much better documented than Jesus.
  • The Bible gives us rules to live by, and guidance for everyday decisions. Shirley MacLaine's website includes a daily horoscope, which is much more specific and useful.
  • Christianity gives its adherents a community for mutual support.
  • Shirley MacLaine's community includes a forum, a chat room, and an e-mail newsletter. You don't have to dress up on Sunday morning, just log on and chat in your jammies.
  • Jesus Christ rose on the third day and he lives in the souls of Christians.
  • Shirley MacLaine is alive today, and judging by the number of times she's been reincarnated, is likely to be reincarnated again, though three days might be a little fast.
  • Christ spent 40 days in "the wilderness."
  • Shirley MacLaine went on the pilgrimmage to Santiago. It took her 30 days. A pretty long time considering she was twice the age Jesus was when he went camping.
  • Christians, on the whole, are pretty nice people, because they fear going to Hell and hope to go to Heaven.
  • People who believe in reincarnation tend to be pretty nice people, because they fear returning as cockroaches or meth heads, and hope to return as Shirley MacLaine.
  • Jesus said (supposedly) "I am the way, the truth, and the light."
  • Shirley said "I'm a Taurus."
  • Jesus has inspired miraculous conversions, including Paul's conversion.
  • Christians can persuade God to heal them through prayer, and really popular Christians can get prayed for in prayer circles.
  • Shirley's forum has a "Healing Circle" section where people can put in requests for "healing energy."
  • Christianity must be valid, because so many people believe in it.
  • Shirley MacLaine's books have sold millions of copies, and her website is popular.

Well? I think Shirleyism has just as much claim as Christianity for the souls of humanity. How about you?


Never Was An Arrow II said...

ONE CAN HARDLY compare Jesus with a wild-eyed idiot like Shirley MacLaine.

Jesus made the claim to be the Son of God and humorously referred to Himself as the Son of Man.

I suggest that you follow up with the Peter Kreeft audio link that I gave you. The only thing wearing thin is that utterly simplistic understanding of Christianity you've insisted on keeping through the years. Peter who teaches at Boston College should be able to bring you up to speed…although you're likely too much of a freebird to tarry even a while under his Catholic tutelage.

LadyAtheist said...

Actually I think if Jesus exised at all he would be more similar to Jim Jones or Charles Manson. Just because he claimed to be the Son of God doesn't mean he actually was. Lots of people through history have believed such things about themselves.

Sorceror said...

Please quote from the Gospel where Jesus himself laid claim to the title "Son of God".

Never Was An Arrow III said...

Sorceror‬ … I GUESS you missed John 10:36.

JESUS is existence. All draw their existence from God.

Your father lay with your mother one night and so you came along. Had he laid with her another night, you wouldn't have been born. Your existence is alarmingly accidental. When that existence ends, there will be no way for you to stop that inevitability. You'll surrender what was given you. There will be no choice.

Jesus is nothing like Jim Jones or Charles Manson…but I guess when a person can't make distinctions…that's the kind of conclusion one will arrive at. A jaguar, lion, tiger become interchangeable. Jim Jones advocated suicide, Manson advocated murder. Jesus condemned both. Jesus doesn't fit the profile of someone with mental illness. Too bad we can't say that about pedophiliac and PATHOLOGICAL NARCISSISTIC Mohammed.

"Lots of people through history have believed such things about themselves."

And no one remembers them. So what exactly is this mysterious staying power that Jesus has?

Jesus has said some of the most profound things of all time. Even outsiders acknowledge that. Ghandi was impressed with Jesus's level of purity and renunciation. Something he modelled himself after. A former hostile British Lit scholar atheist from the 1930s said that she became a Christian because of Jesus's absolutely masterful composition of his parables and similitudes.

So others see the inescapable greatness of Jesus, even if you don't.

Someone, has to be dead last to the table… it might as well be you—

scum said...

Lady Atheist, you're problem here is you're stereotyping Christians. Just because someone said he's a Christian, you will believe him?

You have to qualify what you mean when you mention Christians. A believer of Christ? Remember even Muslims believe in Christ but they aren't Christians.

LadyAtheist said...

It's not up to me to define who is and who is not a "true" Christian. People self-identify as Christians and that's good enough. I can't pick a denomination to be the one true representative one because I think they're all full of crap.